Tourism in Iran!?

The five-star Homa Hotel lobby and restaurant in Bandar Abbas. You could shoot a Wes Anderson movie here in next to no time.

The star valley on Queshm.

The “official” Iran is currently very open and welcoming to tourists. You can easily buy a visa upon entry at the airport (even if you have a Israel stamp in your passport, according to a fellow Swiss traveler we met) and there are tons of group tours around, especially when you get close to the major sights.

What the “official” Iran doesn’t really understand is individual travel, and that tourists might be interested not so much in the major sights, but, for example, in the absurd military posturing this dictatorship has to offer. We wanted to visit the pompous and creepy propaganda “Museum of Holy Defense” in Tehran, or sit in a café sipping espressos and share cigarettes with female graphic design students, or take some interior shots at a KF… (a fake KFC fast food restaurant). And that’s where our problems started.

A souvenir shop on the island of Qeshm, a major tourist attraction by the Persian Gulf.

We did all of the above, and more. We had hired a guide and told her we wanted to see the real Iran, the modern stuff. First, she was super excited, then she got scared and warned us about the secret police, and, after two days, she announced she couldn’t work for us anymore. Apparently, every evening she’d had to deliver a list of sights she visited with us to her boss, and he decided that we were not “normal” tourists. We didn’t want to see touristy stuff. It became too dangerous for her to be our guide, and she quit. I’m not blaming her in any way, but thinking back I am shocked at the innocence of our requests and the amount of fear they had raised in her.

Souvenir stands on Qeshm.

Back to the pool situation. When I saw this pool, I seriously started questioning — strike that: regretting — my decision to spend my precious vacation time in Iran. Like I said, the genders can’t mix, and therefore women aren’t allowed by the pool. There are special women times at indoor pools, but this outside one can be viewed from all the hotel balconies and that’s why women are banned.

Obviously, these pictures weren’t snapped by me. I sent my boyfriend down to take them, while looking wistfully onto the scene from our balcony. If you know me you know how addicted I am to pools, and swimming. It just seemed utterly insane to me: I can’t sit there because I am a woman!? What the f is wrong with this country? I wanted so badly to just relax by the water, and maybe even sip a margarita (but you can forget about this, too, in Iran) while the weather back home was dismal and I had spent good money on this stay. The people at the hotel were so apologetic to me, saying that they would love to allow it, they hated all these laws, that it used to be allowed, in the 1970ies, but their bosses… They could get into serious trouble. They could lose their jobs.

You won’t ever meet nicer people than Iranians. But you won’t ever meet more laws that prevent you from relaxing in any other country than Iran. (Actually, I think that Saudi Arabia and Afghanistan are probably slightly more uncomfortable on the vacation scale.) I never felt that I was discriminated against when I talked to individual Iranians because of my gender. But, in general, Iran is discriminating against women, of course (and I’m not talking about the laws that state that women are to be treated like minors in front of a court). If you’re not dressed correctly, guards will admonish you. You won’t be able to enjoy warm weather and leisurely things like you’re used to and like the men do. The weather will be hot and you will sweat like crazy because you have to wear long sleeves and long pants and preferably closed shoes with ankle-covering socks. You won’t be able to take off your headscarf anywhere except indoors, in private. Be prepared for some major sucky-ness.

We discovered these creepy signs in hotel lobbies. They propagate the idea that the hijab rule is a good thing, regardless of the fact that it’s already a law and there’s really no need to show your support for it. I noticed that I was getting tired of Iran when spotting these signs made me want to spit at them or tear them down, whereas a couple of weeks earlier I would have exclaimed “how interesting!”

A breakfast hall in Mashad, Iran. The color combinations melt my heart.

So, what about this “tsunami of tourists”? I say: Forget it. It won’t happen. Iran is too much work for tourists. It’s too inconvenient and too unrelaxed for Western tourists as a country in general. (Obviously, it also attracts a lot of Shiite pilgrims and tourists from other Muslim countries whose views might be entirely different. I can only speak for myself.) It cares very little about its international renommée. It doesn’t look attractive or welcoming to foreigners, except to hardcore travelers.

Iran is in desparate need for hard cash, but I don’t think tourists will flood it with dollars very soon to relieve its economic misery. Yes, it has seen a surge of visitors in recent years, ever since Rouhani stepped into “power.” But it also lacks the infrastructure for more tourists, and the general easy-ness of booking stuff online, and calling ahead to make a hotel reservation. You can’t pay with credit cards nor can you withdraw money at ATMs. Iran is totally off the grid. Even ordering room service is complicated: You need to make three phone calls, and they still bring you the wrong food. It’s not a cheap country, and the general attitude towards tourists is more that of amazement than genuine welcoming. I’m very curious however to see where Iran will head towards, now that the sanctions are lifted.

And, as a final note, I’m so glad Jason Rezaian is finally freed and out of prison. I thought of him so many times every day when I was in Iran and also back home.

Additional photography by Christoph Miler. You can re-license all of these pictures through my agency KEYSTONE, or contact me directly if you want to publish my photos from Iran.